NOTE: You have to read my first story to get much of this. Enjoy!

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

Not a pokémon was stirring bar one that resembled a mouse.

Pikachu was concerned tonight, even though his limited mind

Was led to support the idea of an existent and kind

Santa Claus whose visitation would indeed come soon.

This was because of something as round as the moon.

When Misty had on Monday met the vengeful May,

She had not planned upon her being to stay

Until the twenty-fifth of December when a contest approaches;

Kate had trained her to leave Misty feeling atrocious.

It was Pikachu’s concern that Kate would be successful

Because that situation would be extremely stressful.

Peace on Earth upon men of good will-

That like any truth causes a chill.

The traditional tale always gets its wrong

In a portrayal that is more apt for Yuletide song.

But if the truth was that Misty had met anew her match,

It would be worse than if Giovanni were to catch

A legendary pokémon, at least from Pikachu’s perspective.

This had all begun with something decisively deceptive.

Monday the twenty-second of December

(The third anniversary of the second film’s UK appearance) sends her,

Misty, a terrible omen because three hundred and sixty two days

It is since Kate ought to have with humiliation mended her ways.

Ash’s financial contribution was in the right place,

But in her clogged coronary arteries there was no space.

She had spent the time since last Christmas planning

Methods for Misty’s downfall, whereupon scanning

A horizon she saw someone going for the record attempt.

“Much further and she’ll know what KATE’S stomach meant!”

Came the cry from the manager, referring to business

Differing from the sort he knew to associate with Christmas

Or anything else that commercialisation has hit.

But I drift from the point about where Kate could sit.

She was only use to the chair where you sat to break records

Whilst tonight in the restaurant she’d be in the observing hoards.

Eighteen chickens? That was not what May could quite manage,

For she only managed twelve, and her stomach took damage.

Even so Kate had found her 2003 trainee.

Starting tomorrow, New Year’s Day, that’s what May would have to be.

May trained and trained when Kate said she could do it!

By spring she was ahead, and Kate couldn’t get to it.

Now May could eat more than Kate, which was fine by her.

The humiliation would be on Misty – she was sure it would occur.

So she made sure that May, whom it turned out was American,

And who came from a long line of eaters of such things as pelicans

Would be there to see Misty and beat her F-LAT!

(Don’t ask me how she arranged it, for I do not know that.)

But the challenge got set, and it was for Christmas day.

Pikachu was concerned by this, as I did say.

For the statistics were against her to beat someone greater than Kate,

Unless of course she did the same as last time and fed off concern (and hate).

Now Pikachu did not see how you could telepathically

Transfer between people eating capacity,

And when he could not see how something was possible

He would take the rational stance: across a bull

Laden field he would not dare trek,

As reality was not as easy to survive as the film Shrek.

(It was not explained however how he believed in a man

Who despite laws of physics each Christmas delivers all he can.)

Oh why oh why did Misty accept this challenge from May?

For one simple reason as, upon that day,

Monday December 22nd 2003,

Misty underestimated the opponent abilities she couldn’t see.

Misty assumed that she would nail May with great ease,

And show her that her culture was not weak for its love of blossom trees

That they referred to by name such as “Sakora”. If May thought she would win,

Misty was convinced her jealousy when beaten would be a great sin.

She did not realise that May could eat far more than Kate,

By a percentage estimated at fifty-eight.

When Misty heard this figure she knew she was in trouble.

Kate perhaps could out eat Misty on the double

Scale unless Misty the great strategy employed.

It would be even harder with Kate’s hand strangling collapsing the void

That was Misty’s stomach. In those circumstances

Misty would to steal space from others who were in trances

At the difficulty of winning an eating contest.

(Difficulty magnified by the Christmas fest.)

The question was would Misty ever defeat May

Even with the best of luck upon Christmas day?

On the eve of the contest that question was concerning

To Pikachu in whose heart some facts were burning.

Although May was not quite as enormous as Kate,

As an opponent she was still quite easy to hate

In an eating contest because you could not defeat her

(Unless you were one in a million who could out-eat her);

With her record for polishing off twenty-three chickens

She was more frightening than the Magwitch of Dickens

Would be to young Pip who in the novel had to take flight.

May was no one you’d like to meet on a dark night.

That’s partly because she could flatten you well.

With that much weight on top you’d soon fall to Hell!

(In Misty’s case it would not be quite so bad

As her body, like a trampoline, would just reflect the bad

Person on top – bad in this context

Of causing Misty trouble, as described in this text.)

Misty was a round 450, but Misty weighed far more than that:

At almost 600, Misty was outweighed by her fat

Alone – and so, with that very point in mind

You can understand why an anxious Pikachu was in an insomniac bind.

Pikachu had one wish that Christmas Eve. He wanted to know

Where the great Misty stood against an unconquerable foe.

Was she against such an enemy in tomorrow’s events?

Or was her only opponent someone she’d not met in a tent?

Most certainly he intended to find out

But how could he be sure beyond all possible doubt?

Unless an existent and all-seeing of the future St Nicholas

Were to visit with the answer on the night before Christmas

His only option would be to wait until the big day.

He foresaw two separate storylines: both with Misty and May.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, you see, and so Pikachu

Could not be sure what tomorrow would bring for “me and you”.

(I refer of course to Misty’s use of pronouns,

Even of to a mouse they were meaningless sounds.)

(A further set of parentheses: blessed are they

Who take humour in the above pun: as I say,

A pronoun is on its own without any meaning.)

Pikachu thus envisaged that both would be cleaning

Their plates, but bar that there was none that he saw:

Which contestant would maul the other with their sharp claw?

…

Okay, my bad! So that line’s ending was quite wrong,

But have you ever tried writing a poem for so long?

It’s dangerous business, as you quickly will find,

Unless you possess an analytical mind

Of the kind that mine is – you need one rich in diction,

So that you can spew out rhyme after rhyme in your fiction.

Now I know that a poem does not have to rhyme,

But then again I will ignore that option this time.

In my shameless parody of a famous poem of Noël,

The rhyming scheme of rhyming couplets must be kept – oh, well,

Intact I would say. Surely you understand why?

Especially when the rhythm is imperfect, however hard I try.

I might use as an excuse this is a very long Clerihew,

But I do not wish to lie and give credit if it’s not due

To my self. (Well I do of course, but that’s not the point.)

To do that would be quite wrong; ‘twould anoint

All over this poem a cruel, wicked lie.

And besides, it would make it sound like I did not try.

The Clerihew is the easy way out. So not today

Will I claim to be using it. Well, anyway …

I guess that you’re all wondering what happened to Misty and May.

I can’t tell you that yet, because that was on Christmas day

And the poem I impersonate here is all on the eve.

That is why I seem forced to with these details just leave

Well enough alone. Perhaps you can decide

What conclusion I am trying to hide.

As it is, Pikachu could not wait to see Santa Claus.

Perhaps he could shed some light on his disheartened cause?

Actually no he couldn’t, for a variety of reasons

(Even if this was for him the best of all the seasons).

One reason was the fact that Santa just was no oracle,

And to ask if he is would be purely rhetorical!

Another problem was that he did appear if you were awake,

And any evidence to the contrary is fake.

The two reasons of his ignorance to human fortune

And his refusal to be seen aren’t the only ones. A musical tune

Like the ones that you get associated with doom and gloom

Would be apt for this point – he cannot help you for there is no room

In this Universe for him to do such a thing.

That’s because he does not exist. Ouch! Bling-bling!

…

Okay, another serious glitch, but do not complain.

In doing so there’s just not anything sane.

When you write as many rhyming couplets as in this story,

You cannot eJabedin absolute perfect glory.

Either you fail to rhyme or it just makes no sense.

Don’t ask me WHY I chose nonsense, for that would be dense!

I mean no offence by that, of course but you see,

You have already received explanation from me.

As I said the rhyming is perfect in the original version,

And that is what I must emulate for there must be curse in

Failing to do so in my emulation.

It’s a shame I have had to detour from the story in explanation.

(But whilst we’re here, the detour will allow me

To reveal the truth. So indeed what shall it be?

The answer came plain and simple to Pikachu.

He heard the sound of bells ringing just like me and you

Would eJabedin when reading about Santa Claus.

As Pikachu listened a voice called out a score – “Misty, victory’s yours!”

Pikachu heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!”)