"Glutton Gourmet Girl"
a Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei fanfic by Double L

“I’M IN DESPAIR!!!”

The students of Class 2-F all sweat dropped when they heard that usual cry.  They stepped outside to see two men struggling.

“Let me die!!!  I can’t handle that pressure!!!” shouted a dark-haired man in glasses, wearing a hakama and kimono.  He was trying to jump out the window, which at that level could seriously injure or even kill him.

“I don’t see what kind of pressure a new student will give you,” said the man holding him back.  They were both teachers, the man in the kimono in charge of 2-F.

“If you keep giving me students…they’ll eventually realize they heavily outnumber me and will try and take over!!!  I won’t be able to do a thing to control them!  I’ll get fired and I’ll lose my home and live out on the streets!!!  If I’m not taken advantage of by sex-starved beggars first, I’ll be dead in a week!” cried the kimono-wearing man.  He managed to overpower the older teacher and leaped out the window.

“Oh no, you don’t, Itoshiki-sensei!” shouted the older teacher, catching the man by the ankle to prevent his fall.

Nozomu Itoshiki just looked up and shouted, “What if I had died?!!!”
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“As you may have heard, we’ll be getting a new student today,” said Nozomu, as he stood in front of his class.  “She’s transferring from another school.  Her name is Reika Pochapucha,” he said, reading the file about his new student.

There was a knock on the door, and Nozomu opened it to find a custodian, carrying two large desks, one under each arm.

“I was told to bring this for your new student,” said the custodian.

“Uh…why do we need two seats then?” asked Nozomu, blinking.

“Apparently your new student is a little…big,” said the custodian, setting up the desks close together.

“Big?” blinked Nozomu, as the custodian left, before there was a loud crunch.  It was of teeth biting into a large bar of chocolate.  Nozomu turned his head and he and his class all stared in shock.

“Hey.  This class 2-F?” asked the very fat girl, a chocolate bar in hand.

“Uh…yeah.  Are you Reika Pochapucha?” asked Nozomu, a little nervous.

“Yep.  I usually go by Rei though” smiled the girl, waving her free hand through her long dyed dark pink hair.  She must have weighed over 400 lbs, with a blubbery belly poking out of her uniform’s sailor shirt.  The girl’s butt was so large and wide, Nozomu wondered if two desks would be enough for her to sit comfortably on.  It was even a miracle her skirt was able to cover the gigantic oversized mounds of flesh that was her rear end.  Rei’s breasts were like giant balls of dough, and must have been at least F-cup in size.  Her cheeks were chubby like a chipmunk’s and she had a double, going on third chin.  Rei’s large trunk-like thighs rubbed together and jiggled like jello as she waddled around.  Even simply breathing caused the girl’s many fat rolls to ripple like ocean waves.  Despite being so fat, she was very beautiful.

Rei waddled to the two desks and took a deep breath, sucking in her big gut the best she could, before she squeezed in to sit down.  “Phew…”

“Uh…right then…” said Nozomu, sweat dropping, as he turned to start class.  Rei took another bite of her chocolate bar, the noise disturbing Nozomu.

“Please don’t eat in my class,” said Nozomu, turning his head.

“Sorry.  I really don’t like going any extended time without something to munch on,” said Rei, before she got a beep on her cell phone.  “Huh?  What’s this?” she blinked, looking at her cell phone.

U R SUCH A FATASS.  HOW R U EVEN ALIVE?

“How did you get her number?” blinked Nozomu, looking to Meru, who was texting on her cell phone.  Nozomu’s cell phone beeped and he looked at his.

DON QUESTION ME, U RETARD.  I CAN DO ANYTHING

“So you made this text?” asked Rei to the mute Meru.  “Like I haven’t heard stuff like this before.  When you come up with something actually original, let me know so I can continue to let it roll off.  I don’t need some mute, foul-mouthed text junkie who will probably lose her thumbs in the future from overuse,”

“?!!!” went Meru, before she looked down, almost as bad as Nozomu usually is.

Rei lifted up her bag, which made crinkling noises, as she moved it, before she unzipped it to reveal it full of snacks, candies, and various other treats.

“Let me just get my books out so I can put this out of sight,” said Rei.

“That just pisses me off!” shouted Chiri Kitsu, as she stood up.  “Either fill your bag with all snacks or all books!  Stuff like that just drives me crazy!” she frowned, her obsession with perfect balance being blighted upon by Rei’s bag.  “You should also be putting it all together so you use all the room in that bag!  A little space is not good!”

“Hey, I need my snacks, but I’m not obsessed,” said Rei, frowning.

Kaere Kimura, the student who had been studying abroad until recently, scowled and asked, “I’m surprised you haven’t died of a heart attack, you land whale.  In my country, obesity is one of the leading causes of death,”

“?!!!” went Nozomu, “What?!!!  I’m in despair!!!”  He waved his arms frantically, “A student dropping dead of a heart attack won’t look good!  Everyone will call me the
‘Teacher Whose Student Died in the Middle of His Class!  I’ll become a pariah!  People will pelt me with me with rotten fruits, veggies, and eggs!  I can’t handle all that!”

“Is he always like this?” blinked Rei, as Nozomu fashioned himself a noose while standing on his desk.

“You get used to it,” said Abiru Kobushi, as the bandaged girl looked at Rei’s massive bottom.

Rei blinked, “Uh…can I help you?”

“Your butt reminds me of an elephant’s or a hippo’s!  Oh how I wish you had a tail so I could know what it felt like to pull one of those!” smiled Abiru, having a massive fetish for tails, especially pulling on them.  This perverted love of hers often got her the fury of angry animals, the reason why she always had bandages on.

“In a few years, I’ll be beating them in size,” smiled Rei, patting her enormous rear proudly.

Matoi Tsunetsuki, who was wearing the same outfit as Nozomu (Her declared “lover”), then said, “You know, I once was fat myself,”

“Really?” asked Rei, before Matoi reached into her kimono, and showed her a picture.  It was of Matoi, but she looked over 300 lbs, standing next to a boy of equal size.

“Before I met my wonderful Itoshiki-sensei, one of my boyfriends was a big eater and a gourmand.  I ate like he did, and became that for a while.  But after I decided to break up with him, my next boyfriend was a Vegan and I quickly lost all that weight,” explained Matoi.  In truth, that boy, among many others she had before falling in love with Nozomu, had put a restraining order on her due to her stalking.  She had done stuff like broking into their houses and putting cameras in to watch them in all rooms of their homes. :

“What?!!!  You never told me that!” thought a young man, who was hiding behind a curtain in the classroom.  He was Matoi’s previous boyfriend, and had been stalking her out of confusion of why she stopped stalking him.

“Takashi, you once dated a fat girl?!!!” thought the girl hiding another curtain, as she stalked Takashi.  This was among the large chain of stalkers that often hid in Nozomu’s room, as Matoi followed her teacher around.

“You were a lightweight,” laughed Rei, before the door opened and a girl rushed in.

“See?!!!  I’m not normal!” shouted the girl, known as Nami Hito, the “normal” girl of Nozomu’s class (much to her chagrin).  “I’ve put on at least eight pounds recently!  Look, I’m getting a gut!” smiled Nami, showing she had grown a chubby belly.  She then saw Rei, and shouted, “OH COME ON!!!!”

“Seems the new student has had quite an effect on the class,” thought Nozomu, on the ground after his noose had broken, thus preventing him from hanging himself
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After class, during lunch break…

“Wow!  I never seen so much food!” shouted Taro Maria Seikutsu, as the illegal immigrant girl looked at the huge spread Rei was eating.

“This is just a light meal.  I can’t carry what I eat at home,” said Rei, eating a bowl of rice the size of her stomach with chopsticks.  It was only a fraction of the huge banquet Rei was feeding herself with.  “I cooked it all myself,”

“Wow!  I have to go out to get my lunch,” smiled Maria, as she opened a bento box fashioned from glued together tin cans to reveal a half-eaten sandwich, an apple core, a soda bottle with some soda left inside, a pie tin with some cream in for dessert.

“Hey Heifer!  Planning to save something for the whole country?”

Rei turned her head to see a trio of punk looking boys, frowning.

“How’d she even fit through the doors?” asked one punk.

“Beats me.  Be careful.  She may cause the place to collapse with one more bite,”

“I think Pochapucha-san has a good reason for being fat,”

The always positive Kafuka Fuura walked to the boys and smiled, “She’s trying to become a Buddha like Budai (Pronounced as Hotei in Japan),”

“Huh?” blinked Rei, her mouth full of sushi.

“Budai was a fat monk who obtained enlightenment through his kindness and ability to enjoy life,” explained Kafuka, “I bet if you rubbed Pochapucha-san’s belly, you’d get good luck!”

“No way I’m touching that blob of flesh.  But you’re quite good on the eyes,” smirked one of the punks.

“Yeah.  Let’s ditch the blob and garbage girl and have ourselves a good time,” said another punk, before Rei grabbed him by the collar.  With one mighty twist of her large body, she flung the punk through the air and into the wall, cracking it.

“What the hell?!!!  You blobby bitch!” shouted one of the two remaining punks, before Rei repeatedly jabbed him in the stomach and spun-kick him across the face, knocking him unconscious.

“Huh?  What the…?” began the third punk, before Rei slammed both of her palms together into his chest

“DOSKOI!!!” shouted Rei, making the punk crash through several tables, her fat palms indented on his chest.

“WHOA!!!” went Maria and Kafuka.

Rei blinked at their stares, before responding, “What?  I’m trained in several martial arts.  I have a black belt in both karate and judo, I’m a schichi-dan (Rank 7) in kendo, and I’m even good at sumo wrestling,”

“Say what?” asked Nozomu, he and several of the Class 2-F students having been drawn by the action.

Rei proudly patted her belly as she explained, “Yep!  Under all this lovely lard is a strong layer of solid muscle.  I took up martial arts to make my parents shut up about my lack of exercise,”  She took out a photo from her wallet and showed it to the group.

“No…way…” went Kaere, eyes widened.

“That’s…your mom and dad…?” asked Abiru.  While Rei in the photo was as fat as ever, her parents were both statuesque and athletically trim people.  Yet unlike Rei, they were rather ugly with mousey teeth, drooping cheeks, and pasty skin.

“My dad is a drill instructor in the army and my mom’s a ballet teacher,” said Rei, “I dyed my hair so I’d look different from them,”

“Like you don’t enough already?” thought Nozomu with a sweat drop.

“Well if you excuse me, I have lunch to finish,” smiled Rei, before she went back to stuffing her face.

“If she finishes that meal before lunch is over, I’ll flash my underwear to the boys,” said Kaere, before the bell shortly rang.

“Ah…that was good…” said Rei, letting out a little belch and lifting her shirt slightly to let more of her oozing stomach out.

“…I’m suing you for making me promise that…” said Kaere with a frown to Rei.
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Later…

Nozomu was preparing to leave the school after his class had left for the day.

“What a day…Pochapucha-san sure made an imprint,” thought Nozomu, “At least I only have one girl that size to deal with,”  As he was passing by the science room, something occurred to him.  “Wait…if Komori-san never leaves the school now…is she getting exercise?  She may be ordering out a lot too…” thought Nozomu, thinking of the hikkomori* that lived at the school.

“Sensei…you want to have some dinner with me?”

“WHOA!!!” shouted Nozomu, eyes nearly bugging out of his glasses when he saw Kiri Komori.  She looked roughly Rei’s size, her proportions more in her breasts and butt than her stomach.  The white blanket she used to cover herself with all the time barely covered all of the fair-skinned young girl’s now blubbery body.  Her breasts were large and round, though not as big as Rei’s, while her butt rivaled the gluttonous gourmand’s own rear.  Her cute baby face now had large chubby cheeks and a double-chin, and her bare thighs were like two jello mounds squashed together.

“Something wrong, sensei?” asked Komori, before she waddled closer to him.  Her blanket got caught on a nail on the doorway and it came out of her hands.  To Nozomu’s shock, he was seeing her completely naked in all her fatty glory.

“AHHHHH!!!  NOT LOOKING!!!” shouted Nozomu, covering his eyes and running off.  “I AM NOT SEEING YOU NAKED AND AT GROUNDS TO BE SUED!!!” he screamed, running into walls, as he couldn’t see his way.

Kiri just took her blanket and wrapped around herself as she looked in the mirror she brought when she moved into the school.  She was noticing how fat she was, and had not been wearing anything under her blanket as she had outgrown what little clothing she brought (She thought she had gone through a growth spurt).  “…I’m kind of cute this way…” smiled Kiri, looking at her fat body at all angles.  “Tee-hee…”

Nozomu, still running with his eyes closed, was screaming, “I’m in despair!!!”  He managed to get out of the building somehow and ran straight into the street.  A car just barely stopped in time, though he did get hit slightly and he went flying into another car.  However, the impact was light enough so he just got bumped against the window.  However, the mother and the kids inside immediately screamed as Nozomu laid, his face pressed flat against the glass.

“What if I had died?!!!”