"A Dangerous Chef"
a Sgt. Frog story by Double L

BOOM!!!

“Cough….cough…” went a small orange frog-like alien , wearing a chef’s hat and having a crossed knife and fork symbol on his belly. He emerged from the ruins of his crashed space pod. “Where am I?” went the alien, blinking, “Umaimai…” It was then he heard a beeping and he pulled out a strange orb from his person, making him smile. “Hey! They were nice enough to leave me my keron orb and there are others nearby!” smiled the frog, dashing to a nearby house.
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“And I fought them all with just a rubber band, a toothpick, and some pocket lint!” shouted Sgt. Keroro, as the green frog-like alien with a star on his belly told one of his “heroic conquests” to his underlings.

“WOW!!! Did you use the rubber band to fire the lint, Uncle?” asked Moa, as the disguised Angol Mois tribe girl sat eagerly in front.

“SILENCE WOMAN!!!” howled Private Tamama, the blue tailed frog alien with a demented look on his face. “Please tell us more, sir!” smiled Tamama, shifting to his usual happy expression. Upon his stomach was the Japanese beginner’s sign.

DING-DONG

“Huh? Who could that be?” asked Natsumi, one of the humans who owned the house Keroro was staying at.

Keroro grinned, “I tell you…I fear no one!!! Except my dad…and Lady Natsumi…and General Mom…and Corporal Giroro…and Master Fuyuki when he’s mad…but other than those few…no one else scares me!”

“Is this yours?”

“Hi Sergeant!  Hi Private!”

Keroro and Tamama froze and their heads creaked as they slowly turned them to see Natsumi holding up an orange frog like them.

“It’s been a long time, guys!” smiled the frog.

“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” screamed Keroro, eyes bugging out.

“ITS UMAIMAI!!! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!” shouted Tamama, he and Keroro running outside.

“Huh?” blinked Natsumi and Moa, as Keroro and Tamama ran past a tent.

“GIRORO!!! CODE ORANGE!!!” shouted Keroro.

A red frog with a scar on his face and a bandolier on resting across his shoulder and hip peeked out and yelled, “CODE ORANGE?!!! UMAIMAI’S HERE?!!!” He ran back in, and came running back with his supplies and his pet cat, Neko, on top of his pack. “NEKO, I NORMALLY DON’T SAY THIS….BUT RETREAT!!!!”

“What’s with them?” blinked Natsumi, as her younger brother, Fuyuki, came down to see the orange frog.

“WOW!!! Are you a friend of the Sergeant too?” asked an excited Fuyuki, loving all things paranormal and the occult.

The frog nodded and smiled, “Yeah! My name is Umaimai! Its very nice to meet you,”

“And he’s more polite and normal than the others,” said an amazed Natsumi, normally annoyed with the aliens and their antics.

“Huh…Uncle never mentioned you before…maybe we should ask Kululu-san about this,” said Moa.
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Closed Because of Code Orange

“Ha! That’s their nickname for me!” smiled Umaimai, as the two humans, Angol, and Keronian saw the entrance to the frogs’ secret base was boarded up.

“Why the heck are they so scared of him?” asked Natsumi to Fuyuki and Moa.

“Maybe…maybe he was some sort of super soldier that wiped out not only an enemy race, but half his own men too!” shivered Fuyuki.

“And that they had to wipe his memories to protect themselves!” shouted Moa.

“And any stimulus of his past could reawaken his devil instincts!” shouted Fuyuki.

Natsumi sweat dropped, “Uh…have you guys seen where he’d go?”

Fuyuki and Moa looked to see Umaimai was gone and screamed.

“He’s regained his memories!” shouted Fuyuki.

“We can’t let him loose on the galaxy! I’ll destroy the planet! The lives of everyone here will be a small price to pay to stop galaxy genocide!” shouted Moa, removing her disguise to assume her true form. Her hair was now gray instead of blonde and wore some sort of revealing outfit in a Jester fashion and held a gigantic staff with two meteorite-shaped balls at the ends.

“Wait…do you guys smell that?” asked Natsumi, sniffing the air. Fuyuki and Moa stopped their panic, and took a smell. The most delicious smell that ever embraced their nostrils had filled the house and was making the trio’s mouths drool. They followed it to the kitchen to see Umaimai, standing on a stool with a stack of books as he worked the oven, cooking multiple pots of delicious-smelling food.

“Wow…” drooled Fuyuki.

“I do apologize, my gracious hosts. If you grant me some lodgings until I find my own place, I will gladly offer my services as a humble chef, Umaimai,” bowed Umaimai, turning to the Hinata siblings.

“Humble…you must have cooked for your leaders!” shouted Fuyuki.

Umaimai blushed and rubbed the back of his head, as he said, “Nothing fancy…I was a mess hall cook for the Keron army. That’s where I met the Sergeant and his platoon. For some reason, they got scared of me. In fact, a lot of the Keron army is. I think its some game they like playing with me,”

“Who could resist this wonderful food…?” drooled Natsumi, reaching for a pot with a spoon in her hand. She needed a taste.

“Uh-uh-uh! Not yet, my lady! Its not ready yet,” smiled Umaimai, before a tall, buxom black haired woman with glasses came into the room.

“So that’s what’s been making that wonderful smell! One of Kero-chan’s friends!” smiled the woman. She was Aki Hinata, the youthful-looking and well-stacked mother of Fuyuki and Natsumi.

“Oh! You must be the designated supreme power here! It will be a honor!” smiled Umaimai.

“Wait…how do you know how to cook Pekeponian food anyway?” asked Moa, finally snapping back to reality. Pekeponians were how the Kerons and Angol Mois tribe referred to earthlings.

“Well, I studied it back in college. I was top of my class after all,” said Umaimai, the buzzer going off. “Ah! The tonkatsu is ready!” smiled the chef frog, before he dashed off to set the table. The Hinata family and Moa’s eyes widened to see him create a wonderful spread of various food on a professionally set table. There was obviously too much food for all four of them, but they were too intoxicated by the aroma to notice.

“Let’s eat!!!” yelled Natsumi, as the four scrambled for the table. They all took bites before they could even blink.

The experience they went through was remarkable.  It was like they were tasting for the first time ever. Every taste bud on their tongue was being pleasantly stimulated by the variety of flavors of the food.

SMASH!!!

“WHAT IS THAT WONDERFUL SMELL?!!!”

With mouths full of food, the four looked to see a blue-haired girl with a crazed look had smashed the door down.

“NONE OF THE CHEFS IN ALL OF OUR OWNED RESTAURANTS EVEN COME CLOSE!!!” shouted the girl, drooling.

“Nishikawa-san?” asked Fuyuki, voice muffled by the food.

The girl’s crazed look became one of an embarrassed blushing one as she went, “Fuyuki-kun? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

“Wow, Umaimai-san, your cooking is so good, normal people get super strength just to get to it!” shouted Fuyuki, stuffing his face as he talked.

“Uh…right…” went the girl, sweating nervously as she didn’t want to drive Fuyuki away. She was Momoka Nishikawa, a wealthy classmate of Fuyuki with a secret crush on him, a problem compounded by her bipolar nature of switching between a sweet and kind mood and a more foul-tempered one.

“What are you doing here?” asked Aki, as she continued eating non-stop like her kids and Moa, as Umaimai kept bringing more food.

“Uh…well…I haven’t seen Tama-chan around my home for a while, so I thought he may be around here,” lied Momoka. She was using that as an excuse to visit Fuyuki and perhaps get closer to him. “I then smelled that wonderful aroma and…well…”

“You can thank the first frog I actually like,” said Natsumi, pointing to Umaimai, who was happily cooking. “He just showed up and is cooking for us,”

“Come join us! You have to try this food,” smiled Moa, slurping up a huge stream of udon noodles.

“Food this good has to be shared!” smiled Aki, pouring a whole bowl of miso down her mouth.

“Um…ok,” smiled Momoka, sitting next to Fuyuki (naturally) and taking a small bite out of a karage chicken nugget. “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!” she screamed, before like the others, went to pigging out.

“Oh? What is this lovely smell that touches my nostrils?”

“623!!!” smiled Natsumi, her eyes turning to hearts when she saw Mutsumi, her poet crush.

The young man with a woolen cap and a whirlwind symbol on his shirt walked over to the table and asked, “May I?”

“Sure thing!” smiled Natsumi, before grabbing a slice of tonkatsu and gulping it down. Mutsumi took a spoonful of miso soup to his lips and sipped, causing his eyes to widen as he exclaimed, “UNREAL!!! It is if this was cooked by the hands of an angel!”

“Oh no, I’m just a humble chef,” blushed Umaimai, carrying a bowl of gyudon. Mutsumi immediately sat down next to Natsumi (much to her pleasure) and joined on in the feast.

“Hey, Umaimai-san, how did you make all this stuff? I don’t even think we had half the ingredients here,” asked Fuyuki.

“Oh, that’s simple, Umaimaimai,” smiled Umaimai, a portal opening and he stepping in. He came back out with a giant watermelon that he placed on the table. “I have my own pocket dimension that I keep a farm of all crops and animals in several galaxies. A good chef always has the freshest ingredients on hand!” he explained, before taking out a knife. In a quick series of cuts, the melon was sliced into multiple pieces.

“Good chef? You’re a godly chef Umai-chan!” shouted Aki, first grabbing a slice of watermelon to stuff in her face, and then Umaimai to squash against her enormous breasts.

“Man, I wonder how that stupid frog could be afraid of such a great guy!” smiled Natsumi, as she made her way down to her slice’s green rind.

“OH! I CAN’T STAND IT!!!”

A petite girl with a long dark ponytail, dressed as a ninja, came from the ceiling and started stuffing her face with the food.

“I know ninjas are supposed to remain stealthly…but smelling that wonderful food is sheer torture if you can’t taste it!” shouted girl, removing her eye mask.

“Oh hey…Koyuki-chan…” sweat dropped Natsumi, seeing her ninja friend from school.

“Oh…you don’t mind, do you, Natsumi-chan?” asked Koyuki, cheeks stuffed huge full of food.

“Oh, no worries. Food this good can’t kept to ourselves,” said Natsumi, before a small, blue figure with a mouth mask landed from the ground.

“This cooking…everyone, stop eating it now!” shouted the blue frog.

“Oh, is that Zeroro?” asked Umaimai, coming out of the kitchen.

“First of all…I have forsaken that name. I am now Dororo! And second…AHHHHHH!!! UMAIMAI!!! I’M OUT OF HERE!!!” shouted the blue frog, the ninja Keron uncharacteristically losing his cool and fleeing.

“Ok…just what is the deal with those weirdoes?” asked Natsumi, taking a bite out of her omelet, not seeing her stomach suddenly bloat out of her shirt.
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Weeks later…

“So let’s see if anyone can answer this question,” said Fuyuki and Momoka’s teacher, “Uh…Hinata-san? Could you stand up and…?”

“Uh…I don’t think I can…” said Fuyuki, his chubby cheeks blushing. His fattened 250-lb body was squashed into his desk and his now wide butt over two chairs.  Fuyuki’s stomach was stretching his uniform’s shirt and green jacket, as it was so big and round, it looked like he was smuggling an over inflated medicine ball underneath. His butt was two enormous mounds of blubber squashed together and his waist a great ring of flab. Much to his embarrassment, Fuyuki had even grew a pair of fatty boy breasts upon his chest. Since Umaimai moved in, he, his family, and Moa were eating their new house chef’s massive quantities of super tasty food every day. Momoka even came everyday when she could and when she couldn’t, Umaimai delivered her a massive lunchbox.

“Oh Fuyuki-kun! Even fat, you’re adorable!” thought Momoka, drooling. She was even bigger than Fuyuki at 300 lbs. As a girl, her chest was naturally bigger and rounder, and she had a much larger butt and hips. Her stomach rivaled Fuyuki’s in size, softness, and spherical proportions. Her uniform was stretched out to the max from her enormity and her thunderous thighs were almost completely exposed due to her skirt’s inability to completely cover it. (Luckily for her, it could cover at least her underwear) Her smile was emphasized more by her great chubby cheeks and triple-chin.

“I could try answering the question from here and…” began Fuyuki, before the doorway was smashed down.

“Do not worry, Fuyuki-sama!” shouted a buff carpenter with a belt of power tools. He was one of many, all marked with the kanji for “Momoka’s Unstucking Squad,” on their outfits. “Momoka-dono hired us to unstuck you and her from anything your growing bodies get stuck in! Why just this morning, we got her unstuck from her bathtub!”

“IDIOTS!!! DON’T TELL HIM THAT!” screamed Momoka, angrily bursting open her desk when she tried to stand up in her fury.

“Now don’t worry…we’ll have you out in no time,” grinned one of the carpenters, holding a sledgehammer. Another had a crowbar and yet another had a power saw.

“Gulp…I wonder if all that food we’ve been eating might have added a few pounds…” thought Fuyuki, gulping nervously.
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Nearby at the school’s field…

WHAM!!!

SLAM!!!

STOMP!!!

“EEEEEYEOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!” screamed a male student, leaping around after Natsumi stomped on it by accident.  Several students had been knocked down unintentionally by Natsumi’s newfound bulk.

“Sorry!” shouted Natsumi, as she ran, or rather waddled down the field for their gym class’s soccer game. Her gym uniform was super embarrassing to wear now that she weighed 360 lbs. Her enormous thighs were tree trunks of blubber, and above them were the two giant balls of lard that was her butt. Natsumi’s bulging Buddha belly jiggled and jumped as she moved, much like her ballooned up breasts. Much to her embarrassment, they had grown even bigger, now even larger than her mom’s used to be. “HYAHHHHH!!!” screamed Natsumi as she swung her jelly leg at the ball and slammed it to the goal.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” screamed the goalie, ducking under the ball. He rather let the other team get a point than get smashed by the power kick.

When Natsumi saw the ball go through the net, she blushed, “Wow…I’m still as strong as ever,”

“Wow…I thought Natsumi-senpai had let herself get soft…but she’s just as cool as ever!” exclaimed one of Natsumi’s girl fans and underclassmen.

“I think she’s even more beautiful with all that blubber all over her,” said another.
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“Um…so what do you think?” asked a manga artist, as he awaited his editor’s opinion.

“Munch…well…chomp…its not as bad as your last one…but I…chew…can do a lot…smack…better,” said Aki, as she sat back across three seats, munching on some donuts Umaimai baked for her while she reviewed his work. She had eaten herself up to 450 lbs, much of it going to her breast and butt. Her gigantic rear made the chairs under her great weight, each cheek an enormous doughy sphere squeezed into the seat of her tight jeans. Aki’s already gravity-defying chest had grown so massive, it would make girls of the Eiken series look flat in comparison. Aki’s hips had also grown almost as much as her chest and butt, making her width almost equal to her height. Though she had grown most in her chest, hips, and butt, Aki’s belly had grown a great deal as well.  It looked like as if she was pregnant with multiple children of great size and reached past her knees and blobby thighs.

“Oh…” went the artist, blushing nervously at Aki’s giant breasts as much of her male staff did.

“Don’t worry! There’s plenty of good ideas out there! Like right now…I’m doing research for a cooking manga!” smiled Aki, before an alarm went off. “Oh boy! Lunch time!”

“Uh…you just finished off a whole box of donuts…” went the artist.

“Oh don’t be silly…” said Aki, “That was just my snack. Next to actually getting that cute little chef’s cooking right from the oven is eating his hand-crafted bento!” She pulled out a gigantic lunchbox as large as her blimpy belly and pried it open for a mountain of meat, veggies, and all sorts of delicious goodies piled over a foundation of rice busted out. “This will hold me until I get home!”
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Back at school…

“Ah, lunch time!” smiled Natsumi, she, Fuyuki, and Momoka all having bento boxes like Aki.

“Nothing like enjoying lunch under a tree,” smiled Mutsumi, having joined up with the three. He now weighed 280 lbs, making him larger and rounder than Fuyuki, but thinner than Momoka, especially with his taller height. His stomach stuck out freely from his uniform and his butt made it look like someone had placed beach balls in his pant seat and inflated them to a monstrous size.

“Uh…don’t you guys get the idea something could be wrong here?” asked Fuyuki, stuffing his face with the bento contents.

“No, what do you mean, Fuyuki-kun?” asked Momoka, before they heard a branch snap and the ground shook violently from a massive impact. The four looked to see Koyuki, now a 320-lbs of beautiful girl ninja, on the ground, covered with the contents of a bento box and a tree branch.

“Oh no! I spilled Umai-chan’s food all over me! Why did that tree get so weak? I’ve been on its branches so many times when I ate lunch,” cried Koyuki, her blubbery body jiggling and her tight uniform struggling not to burst at the seams from containing all that fat. Her gaining had developed most in her lower bottom, giving her a big belly that had to be carried two pillars of blubber that were Koyuki’s legs. Her butt was larger and rounder than Natsumi’s, and her thunder thighs touched with even the simplest of leg movements. Koyuki managed to get some good gaining in her chest, it now rivaling Aki’s original size, and her face had bloated out like a balloon with chipmunk cheeks and a double chin.

“Uh…yeah, the tree got weaker…” laughed Natsumi nervously.

“Hey, have you guys seen Dororo-chan? He’s been missing for weeks,” said Koyuki, looking to the other as she scraped what clean food was stuck to her and licked her fat fingers.

“Hey come to think of it, I haven’t seen Sarge or the corporal either,” said Fuyuki.

“Nor that weirdo mad scientist,” said Natsumi.

“Or Tama-chan,” said Momoka, “I wonder where they went,”
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“Sarge! When can we go back out? I’m tired of eating these rations!” whined Tamama, as he and his fellow members of the Keroro platoon sat around in their darkened HQ.

“Not until Umaimai leaves! I know you’re upset, Private…but NOT ALL OF US AREN’T GETTING A CHANCE TO RETURN TO A MANSION!!!!” cried out Keroro, before tears filled his froggy eyes. “Oh my precious Gundam models…how I miss you!”

“You’re worried about your stupid models when the most dangerous frog from Keron is out there?!!!” shouted Giroro, Neko sitting on his head.

“…” went Dororo, laying half-dead on the ground.

“What’s with him?” asked Keroro, looking to his underling.

“I think Dororo is upset because we locked him out of the HQ and he had to pound on the door for a few hours before we finally remembered him and let him in,” said Tamama.

“Ku-ku-ku…” chuckled Sargeant Major Kululu, as the yellow frog with crazy eye glasses sat at his computer console. “Well, at least I’ve been able to do some long-awaited experiments I’ve been wanting to do…like what happens when you slip Surian Melting Parasites in emergency food rations …”

“Uh…what?” asked Keroro.

“Nothing. Ku-ku-ku…” answered Kululu, laughing evily to himself.

“Huh…I can’t help but feel like we’ve been forgetting something…and this time it isn’t Dororo again…its something important…” said Keroro.

“…” went Dororo, feeling even more inadequate and useless.

“Maybe Moa can tell us. Moa! Moa!” shouted Keroro, before looking around. “Huh…where is she?” blinked the green frog alien, before it finally hit him after weeks of hiding. “AHHHHHHHH!!! WE FORGOT MOA!!! COME TO THINK OF IT, WE FORGOT ABOUT MASTER FUYUKI!!!”

“AHHHHHHHHH!!! I FORGOT ABOUT NATSUMI!!! STUPID!!! STUPID!!!! STUPID!!!” shouted Giroro, drawing out his many guns and firing upon his own platoon.

“If you’re mad at yourself, why are you taking it out on us?!!!” screamed Keroro, as he and the others were blown to bits. The explosions left their afros (a common hairstyle on Keron) exposed.

“I don’t care the dangers! I’m going to save Natsumi from that evil Umaimai!” shouted Giroro, as he began destroying the massive blockade the frogs had placed in front of the doorway to keep Umaimai out.

“Say Sarge…I’ve been wondering…do you think Umaimai is really evil?” asked Tamama, getting up, all singed and covered in soot. “I mean…he’s really nice to us and seems to like us. Maybe he doesn’t know about how his…”

“Private! That frog nearly destroyed the Keron army! And I mean, no one is THAT nice! Usually it means he’s up to something!” shouted Keroro, in a spontaneously formed body cast.

“Ku-ku-ku…I must admit…even I’m jealous of that sort of evil…” smirked Kululu, sitting in a healing tank like the one in the Empire Strikes Back.

“…If we leave Umaimai alone anyway, he will most certainly destroy this planet…” said Dororo, looking out to the distance.

“Hey! How are you healed so fast?!!!” shouted Keroro, “And where the heck are you looking in here?!!!”
***********************************************************************
“Is it ready?!!! Is it ready?”

“Not to worry, Moa-sama, its done,” smiled Umaimai, carrying a gigantic gelatin mold shaped like Keroro.

“Wow…it looks so much like Uncle…I almost can’t eat it!” smiled Moa, before she grabbed the whole mold and started shoving it down her maw, chewing at times to prevent choking. She now weighed around 700 lbs, nearly twice the size of Aki, due to the fact she was around Umaimai the most. She wore only a massive blanket around her enormously huge bulk of a body. Moa was big enough to contain both Fuyuki and Momoka in her stomach, and her butt big enough to crush Aki and Natsumi each under a cheek. She was now so big, only her Angol super strength could allow her movement, and even then it was awkard. Her face had four lovely chins hanging from it, and her cheeks looked like they had been inflated with helium.

“I am glad you enjoy it,” said Umaimai, before he heard the doorbell ring. “Oh boy!

That must be Fuyuki-sama and the others! I hope they liked that I had the doorway widened!”

“Yummy…oh how I wish I could kiss you for real, Uncle…” smiled Moa, only holding the gelatin mold’s head. She gulped it down just as a portal opened up and the Keroro Platoon came out.

Keroro saw Moa gulping down a gelatin shaped like his head and freaked, “AHHHHHH!!! SHE ATE ME!!!” He fainted from the shock, muttering, “I’m too…pretty to go…”

“Sarge!” cried Tamama, before his eyes filled with rage and he looked to Moa. “HOW DARE YOU EAT MY SARGE!!!” he shouted, energy gathering in his mouth.

SMACK!!!

“Obviously he hasn’t been eaten, dumbass,” said Giroro, smashing the butt of his gun against Tamama, causing his energy blast to explode inside, knocking the private out. “Its worst than we feared…Umaimai’s cooking has been eaten!”

“Oh Uncle!!!” shouted Moa, grabbing the unconscious Keroro and squashing him against her enormity. “I missed you so much! Where have you been?”

“STOP SQUEEZING THE SARGEANT!!!” freaked Tamama, suddenly reawakening as
if Mois’s touching of Keroro activated some primal instinct in him.

“I’m sorry, Tama-chan…I just missed Uncle so much…” whimpered Moa, her eyes full of sadness.

“OH!!! EVEN SUPERSIZED, SHE CAN STILL MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A JERK!!!” thought Tamama, defeated with just one look of Moa’s eyes.

“This is serious! Moa, has anyone besides you have eaten any of Umaimai’s food?” asked Giroro, worried.

“Of course! Who could resist it?” asked Moa.

“…Does that include…?” began Giroro with a gulp, before the door busted open.

“Oh man! I am starving!” shouted Natsumi, Giroro’s eyes bugging when he saw her.

“NATSUMI!!!” shouted Giroro, before he fell to the ground, the shock too much for him.
“….Well, we lost Giroro. Umaimai’s still as evil as ever,” said Keroro, before he saw Fuyuki waddling. “Master Fuyuki! Stop!”

“Huh? Hey, its you, Sarge! I love to talk, but I want to get some of Umaimai’s food in my belly and…” began Fuyuki.

“It is important you don’t eat any more of his food!” shouted Tamama, as Momoka, Mutsumi, and Koyuki waddled in.

“Why?” asked Fuyuki, he and Natsumi gathering with them.

“I mean, seriously. Are you jealous that we actually like this one frog?” asked Natsumi.

Though unconscious, Giroro’s body stood up and moved on its own to the kitchen.

“What’s so dangerous about Umai-chan?” asked Aki, squeezing her enormity into the house.

“You’re home early, mom,” commented Fuyuki.

“I was hungry…” whined Aki.
“Umaimai nearly destroyed the entire Keron army by himself!” shouted Dororo.

“But he’s so nice…how could he…?” began Koyuki.

“Its his food! Its too damn good! Anyone who eats it won’t get enough it! They’ll eat until they turn into gigantic blobs…like you all have…” began Keroro, before Natsumi stomped her fat foot onto his face.

“I AM NOT FAT!!!” screamed Natsumi, “Maybe everyone else has but I…”

“Ku-ku-ku…” chuckled Kululu, holding up a large wide scale mirror to Natsumi.
Natsumi turned white and her face turned emotionless for a few seconds, before…

“KYAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

SLAM!!!!

Natsumi had passed out from seeing herself so incredibly obese.

“See what we mean?” asked Tamama, “When he was our mess hall cook, he made half of the Keron army into gigantic whales! How can they fight when they can’t even move?!!!”

“We thought of trying to use him to fatten up enemy armies…but the test planet we sent him was reduced to a wasteland in only a few months,” said Dororo.

“The planets’ inhabitants mined out all their natural resources, just because they wanted Umaimai to keep making them food. I must say…even I wouldn’t be that twisted…ku-ku-ku,” smirked Kululu.

“Come on, guys…his food can’t be that wicked…” began Momoka, before they felt a cold shiver. They looked to see the ghost girl that commonly haunted the Hinata house, but now she was a colossal ball of ethereal blubber. She was far bigger than Aki, but nowhere near Moa’s size. Without her legs, she was more of a giant fat glob with arms, head, and enormous freak watermelon sized breasts.

“Uh…maybe they have a point…” shivered Fuyuki, as the ghost floated by and through a wall.

“Oh man…but we can’t stop eating his food…its soooo good…” whined Mutsumi.

“We have to stop Umaimai…behind that dopey smile is the most evil and dangerous Keron to ever…” began Keroro.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!!!

“AHHHHHHH!!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!”

Umaimai came running out of the kitchen, a half-crazed zombie Giroro chasing him
with guns.

“….You’re afraid of him…?” asked Aki, sweat dropping.

“KILL!!! KILL!!! KILL!!!” roared zombie Giroro.

“What did I do?” whined Umaimai, “All I did was cook!”

“Oh don’t worry…I called for someone special to take care of you…” smirked Kululu, before the ground began to shake. The shaking caused Giroro to regain his senses, and Umaimai to freeze.

“That shaking…could it be…?” gulped a nervous Umaimai, before the doorway was torn open and a massive blob attacked Umaimai.

“What the?!!!” screamed the group, shocked.

“UMAIMAI!!!”

Hugging Umaimai against a gigantic soft mass of blubbery flesh was a girl like Moa, except even larger. She was dressed in the same outfit as Moa’s real form, but had two opposite facing crescent moons on her hat and her outfit was even more revealing, showing off her many enormous rolls of blubber. The girl’s hair was black and tied into kitty tails down to her massive waist which must been like twelve feet in circumfrence. She was enormous to contain the entire huge Hinata family in her entire belly, her breasts bigger than Natsumi’s whole body, and her butt like two oversized Atlas statue globes made out of jelly.

“I missed you so much!!!” cried the girl, smothering the orange frog with thousands of loving kisses.

“Terra-sama?!!! Is that you?!!!” shouted Umaimai, his eyes filling with tears. “Oh my beloved! You have lost a lot of weight, but I can recognize my true love!” he cried, before he kissed his froggy lips against hers.

“Uh…what the heck…?” blinked Momoka.

“Neechan!” smiled Moa, seeing the girl. “She’s from the Angol tribe like me…she’s the most powerful of us! Even my dad’s afraid of her!”

“Yes…Angol Terra is the most powerful and terrifying of the Angol tribe. But her one weakness is Umaimai and his cooking,” smiled Kululu, “I remember back when her weight was still in the low triple digits she came to our camp and tasted one of Umaimai’s cooking. She fell in love with it…and the chef who cooked it. Its also why the Keron army would never hurt him,”

“Huh?” went the humans.

“Once Umaimai went to get spices from a planet, and he stubbed his toe on one of its rocks. Terra blew up the whole planet and several moons that were nearby in anger. Ku-ku-ku,” laughed Kululu sadistically.

“Everyone told me you were out collecting ingredients,” said Terra, carrying her beloved frog in her fatty arms.

“Huh? Maybe that was what I to be doing in all that various isolated places the Keron army threw…” began Umaimai, confused. However, something landed right into his hands. It was a strange velvet box. “Huh? Where’d this come from?”
Kululu whistled to himself with an evil smile.

“Oh?!!! Is this…?” began an excited Terra, before her fat fingers popped it open. It was an ring with an adjusting metal band and a gigantic diamond.

“Wow, look at that ring,” blinked Umaimai, before Terra squeezed him tighter.

“OH YES!!! I will marry you!!!” smiled Terra lovingly.

And so Umaimai and Angol Terra left the planet to be married on the Angol homeworld. Umaimai offered to cook for the wedding, but the Angols said they didn’t want the groom to worry when it was his wedding.

“Oh man…its going to take me forever to lose all this weight…” whined Natsumi, “And why do we have to wear these stupid patches?” She pointed to a patch that was affixed to her enormous belly.

“Its one of Kululu’s inventions. Its supposed to keep you from going crazy from
craving Umaimai’s food,” explained Dororo.

“Fat or thin…your hard-crazed violence makes you beautiful, baby…” thought a blushing Giroro, looking at Natsumi.

“Hey, I think we found how Umaimai got here in the first place,” said Fuyuki, waddling to the others. He led them to a crater where a metal pod was in the center.

“Huh….how’d we miss that when it was so close to our house?” blinked Aki.

“It’s a standard space prison pod. When a prisoner is too dangerous to keep him on any world…we stuff him in there and launch him into space,” explained Giroro, “But prison pods aren’t supposed to be near inhabited planets…”

“Strange…the time when Umaimai first showed up was when I tested my new orbital magnet. It was designed to bring things from deep space so they could drop down on cities,” said Kululu, rubbing his chin.

“…” went Natsumi and Giroro, turning red (Giroro where he was white).

“Oh…you think I could have brought him here? That would make sense! Ku-ku-ku!” laughed Kululu.

“HELL WILL BE A RELIEF WHEN I’M DONE WITH YOU!!!” screamed Giroro, pointing his hundreds of guns at the mad frog.

“I’m going to start my exercise regiment with this!!!” yelled Natsumi, cracking her fat knuckles.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” screamed Kululu, as his violent ordeal began.
The following is too graphic to continue on. I shall end this story by saying that Umaimai and Angol Terra lived happily ever after. They had lots of children…though I shall not go into how a frog alien and a humanoid alien could…or what they would look like. But I shall say that Terra did eventually grow so large, she became her own planet, inhabited by her loving husband and children. And so, Angol Terra saved the universe by taking this culinary force of nature all on her own.

Oh, and if anyone's wondering how Kululu got that ring, he made it himself. But don't tell Keroro that he dipped into gundam model fund to get the materials.

"WHAT?!!!"

Oh he heard me. Cie le vie.