"Mega Mia!"
by FANN

Chapter 0: Prologue

Once upon a time, there was a tale of souls and swords eternally retold in a galaxy far far away. And after beating that game, I decided that Soul Calibur IV was a game worth buying, and regretted renting it. After returning the game to Blockbuster, I walked over to Gamestop to buy the Limited Premium Edition. But before I did, I perused the games in the store. Disappointed with the back of Dead or Alive Xtreme 2, I wandered over to the PS2 games.

“Whoa, Stretch Panic. I’ve never seen one actually in stores. I should probably buy it-“

Just then, I heard the distinct ring of the door opening. Once I saw who had come in, I hastily put the cult classic back on the shelves. She was here.  Mia. I had always had a huge crush on Mia, and even more so recently. These days, she had embraced a nerdy lifestyle, and a new diet in addition to lack of movement was starting to affect her weight. You see, I had known Mia since kindergarten and she lived only five doors down. All. My. Life. Recently, though, we had kinda lost touch because throughout all of middle school Mia’s parents forced her to go to a private boarding school. But this year, our freshman year, Mia’s parents decided that it was cheaper to put her in a public high school. And during the past three years, she developed and accepted being a geek, just like I did.

The creepy part I noticed, however, was that during this time of my life, the time when I realized that I like fat girls, Mia began to gain a little weight. Coincidence? Perhaps. Fate?  Maybe. Awesome enough to ask her out? Hell yes. And on this day, I did just that.

“Hey, you guys got Mario Kart for the Wii?” Mia asked the clerk.

“Does anyone?” he sighed.

I walked up to the other register. “Can I get 5000 Microsoft points?”

After I bought it, I turned to her. “Hi, Mia.”

She turned and smiled. “Hey, Fann. What’s up?”

“Witchbla-, I mean, Shivering Isles at reduced price.”

Her eyes lit up. “They finally cut the price?!”

“Yeah!”

“Yes! I can download it now!” Mia turned back to the clerk. “1600 Microsoft points, please!”

“Actually, you can have mine.” I offered.

“…What?” Her jaw dropped.

“We can put these points on your account. You can download Shivering Isles, but is it all right if we spend the rest on movies we can watch together?”

For a moment, she had gone stiff and silent. I began to worry I had pushed too hard.

But then she grinned. “Only if I pay for Pizza Hut delivery.”

From that moment on, we began to date each other. Childhood friends fell in love, and eventually…..

Chapter 1
SUPER MEGA AWESOME, YET VERY GENERIC AND SAD HERESY-FILLED REVIVAL RITUAL


“It’s time to begin.” I crossed the center of the temple. There was an altar overlooking an ancient land. As I approached on horseback, the sun began to shine on us. I got off and picked up something five feet long and very heavy, wrapped in a thick blanket. Once I placed it on the altar, I brushed the sweat off my brow.

“This’ll work. It has to.”

“Well, after all that trouble you went to, I hope it does. But why did we come all the way out here?” A black cat with a white stripe across his belly jumped down from the horse.

“Because there’s plenty of space out here. Also a good opportunity to make several Shadow of the Colossus references. All of this, everything we’ve worked for….” I turned to the blanketed figure.

“Is for love.” I violently pulled the blanket off and tossed it aside. On the altar was a young woman in a black dress. She probably weighed a little over 300 pounds, all evenly distributed across her features. Except her face. Mia’s face was pale white, and she was very cute. But her eyes were closed. They’d been closed for quite some time now…

“You should probably stop right here, you know. I mean, have you played Shadow of the Colossus?” The cat asked.

“Yeah.”

“To the end?”

“No, just the demo.”

“Let me just say that it doesn’t turn out so well for…for…whatever the hell that guy’s name is.”

“His girlfriend doesn’t come back to life and they don’t live happily ever after?” I asked.

“Not a happy ending, buddy. Not happy at all. Word of advice: don’t trust someone invisible speaking in mystical echo with light shining down on you and small subtitles.”

I turned back to the woman. “Mia…I love her so much. She just….She just got so sick so fast. She and I….we made her too fat too fast. The heart attack came so suddenly in the middle of her cold… I’ve got to bring her back.”

“Yes, but…” The cat gutted the horse, which fell over dead. “Did you really need to stuff Shadowmere full of every conceivable method of bringing someone back to life?”

“Yeah. You can kill horses and stuff them full of stuff. Shadowmere was best because he was a main character, and whenever you kill him, he comes back to life walking around with everything inside. You can keep doing it over and over again; this Oblivion cheat works!”

“I don’t believe it…it actually works. This is awesome. We could crusade over Tamriel forever with him.”

“Not now, Tux. Just get the stuff out so we can revive Mia.”

“Why, oh why did you name me Tuxedo?!” The cat stopped looting the Dark Brotherhood’s horse and turned to his master. “Why Tux?! Of all the names you could give an immortal cat, WHY would you name me Tux? I have to live with that forever!”

“It’s that streak on your belly. Black and white. Like a tuxedo. Tux.”

“LIAR! Yes, that’s what you tell everyone, but you forget to mention that when you named me, you were watching Sailor Moon all the time! I was named after Tuxedo-effing-Mask! You know it! I know it! You watched Sailor Moon when you were a kid! That was the very first anime you saw!”

“Look, for the millionth time, I was six. I grew out of it, and I grew out of it fast.”

“Uh-huh. And look where you are now. You avoided Sailor Moon so much that you created your name from an acronym that is the exact opposite of Sailor Moon: Fat Admiring Net Ninja. The Sailor Scouts weren’t fat, nobody really admired them, they never used the internet, and were not even close to the awesomeness of ninja.”

“Oh, they’re fat now. Oh…they most certainly are. And it’s on the internet too. I’ve seen them these days. Animexpansion. Deviantart.”

“Whatever. I want a new name! I want something cool! Like Panthor!”
I was clearly focused on Mia. “Sure, fine. Whatever. You can be called Panthor.”

“All right, what do we got here……The Eternal Sword. Oh man, Lloyd is NOT going to be happy when he discovers we stole it first. The Resurrection Stone. I’m telling ya, you shouldn’t mess with this Deathly Hollow stuff. Still, it goes nice with the Stone of Sages, despite the threat of Mars Lighthouse blowing up. The Triforce, the completed Shikon Jewel, the Jewel of the First Hokage, Gum Gum Fruit, the Holy Grail, a buttload of obscure materia, seven Chaos Emeralds, seven Dragonballs, ….. I see there are also about 50 Lumas…”

“Not Lumas, stars.”

“What’s the diff- what the?! Soul Edge?! You brought Soul Edge?!”

“Hey, I heard it does amazing things. Incredible things. The impossible.”

“I also heard it’s evil as hell.” Panthor growled. “The Lazarus Vector from Rapture?! That only works on plants, dumbass!”

“I thought it was that thing Jesus used to revive-”

“They only named it after him!”

“I think it’ll still be very helpful.”

“No, it won’t. What….is this?!” Panthor pulled out a giant piece of what looked like pink bubblegum.

“That’s a fragment of Majin Buu.”

“So you’re STILL trying to make Mia get fatter?!”

“Not….Buu has highly magical powers and that would certainly be very helpful if she could regenerate like that.”

“It’s not the same! And what…ugh, fangs?!”

“They’re Alucard’s.”

“How is THAT going to help bring her back to life?”

“They worked for Seras.” I reasoned.

“No, they prevented her from dying, not reverse it.”

“I didn’t know that. I haven’t seen Hellsing yet. Therefore, what I don’t know, I can manipulate freely without having to work around things like logic.”

“You’re an idiot and I’m showing you Hellsing Ultimate one through three when we get home. I don’t care if I have to strap you to a chair; you’re seeing it. And why did you bring the One Ring? Nothing good has ever happened when someone got their hands on it.”

“But it is very powerful, and we definitely need that kind of magic.”

“No, we don’t! It must be cast back into the fires of Mt Doo- The book containing the full Epitaph of Twilight?! Oh come on, that’s not even….The World is….this is a digital item from within a game! How could you possibly acquire this?!”

I simply groaned.

“Okay, you’ve got me on this one.” Panthor pulled it out. “A jar….of dirt?”

“Yeah. Haven’t you heard the remix? I got a jar of diii-iiirrt!”

“Okay, when you saw this jar…filled with dirt…. didn’t you ask yourself ‘Is the jar of dirt going to help?’”

“I did. And then I thought ‘If you don’t want it, then give it back.’ Well, here it is.”

“A daedric hammer?”

“Actually, that’s not for the ritual. It was on a guy’s corpse and it was too valuable to leave behind.”

“And what the hell is this? A suit of armor…?”

“Let me go, you big bullies!”

Panthor jumped up and got in attack mode. The hair on his back went up. “It talked!”

“He’s a person! His name is Alphonse Elric.” I explained.

“Oh sure! Kidnapping is SO much better than stealing! What good will a talking suit of armor do us?! It’s clearly magical or whatever, but how will this help?”

“I’d tell you, but that is a spoiler from Fullmetal Alchemist. And I don’t like spoiling people.”

“Everyone who cares has seen it already, man. Just tell me why you brought Al? I know that will definitely get Edward trying to kill us…”

“Just trust me on this one- “ Then it hit me. "Hey, wait a minute. You don’t know? You haven’t seen that far in Fullmetal Alchemist?”

“Um….”

“When we get home, you’re watching it. You don’t have a choice.”

“After Hellsing Ultimate.” Panthor insisted

“Well, let’s get started then.”

We placed all of the materials beneath the altar Mia lay on top of. There were quite a few.

“So, uh….how do we activate them all at the same time?” Panthor asked.

“I think I know.” I walked over and raised my hands over them. “OMG Hax!!!”

“Okay, that’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard. Pretty much the equivalent of asking a door to be opened by saying ‘open sesame’. You officially suck-“

Just then there was a huge explosion of magical energy! Panthor and I were blown off our feet. The moment we hit the ground, we must’ve fainted.

When we came to, I struggled and stood up.  “Oh no!” The altar was devoid of any magical item or Mia. It had been blown to pieces and burn marks were everywhere. “Mia!!! Are you here?!?!”

Panthor ran up to the edge overlooking the land. “Look below!” On the ground were large imprints of barefoot and magical burns everywhere. “These tracks….”

“Follow them! They might lead to Mia!” As we rode off on Shadowmere’s back, I began to worry. “Let’s just hope I didn’t summon a monster that went off with her….”

Chapter 2:
Shadow of the Colossal Girl

The following is a partial fanfiction of Shadow of the Colossus. It does not contain spoilers, but hints at events that marked the end of the game.

It is built so that you do NOT need to have read previous chapters if you are looking for fanfiction about this anime/video game. However, previous chapters (most particularly chapters 1, 2, and Mia’s magical gain rulebook) may help you better understand what’s going on.

This series overall is a WG series with occasional elements of BE. If you do not like WG or fat girls, then please don’t whine about it.

The overall plot is that Mia and Fann got married, but shortly afterwards she died of seemingly natural causes. Fann and his black cat Panthor gathered many magical items across different anime and games to bring her back to life. The good news is that she’s back, is 8 feet tall, has a standard weight of 1000 lbs., and has a wide arsenal of magic, items, and abilities given through those items. The bad news is that she has no memory of her previous life (including Fann), the very fabric of reality is breaking apart due to the integration of fictional worlds into our universe, and every character (good and evil) Fannstole those magical items from is out to kill them! Only Mia can stop this onslaught of evil and return our universe to the way it was. Though every 24 hours she returns to 1000 lbs, the end of every fight makes her gain weight proportional to the fight’s length and difficulty. And every female that touches her is infected by a virus and begins to rapidly gain weight….

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I dismounted Shadowmere when we came to a small cliff. Panthor opened up my backpack and popped out from inside it. “So what are you going to do now? Did we go the wrong way?”

“No, the tracks end here. Whether they belong to Mia or whatever took her, it probably jumped or climbed the cliff. Look, there’s vines growing on it and it’s not too tall. I can probably take it.”

I grabbed the vines and pulled. Oh yeah, they could definitely support my weight. I started to climb up. As I neared the top, I began to hear loud booms. I pulled myself up and lay on my stomach to rest. I realized I was in a canyon or a gorge between mountains. Not a tree or blade of grass in sight. Completely flat.

Of course, that wasn’t the first thing I noticed. A gigantic leg appeared out of nowhere and the foot smashed into the ground. It made a crater and dust and rubble were thrown into the air. I looked up and my jaw dropped.

My wife was alive. And she was huge. Where she was once 300 pounds, she had now tripled that amount, maybe more. She also used to be short, but now I’d estimate she was around 8 feet tall. Every inch of her body was covered in abundant fat. Her legs were probably the biggest part of her, as each thigh was wider than I was! And her butt was magnificent, barely covered by a pair of blue short jeans. Of course, they were even shorter than most jeans. Her belly bulged out and had several folds. Breasts, bigger than basketballs, covered in a small black tube top. Her arms too, were thick and fattened.

For the most part, she was completely unrecognizable from the woman who was my wife. But her face is what convinced me that yes, it was indeed her. It was almost as if her face had not fattened one bit. It was just as I last saw her. She was so cute with her golden eyes and blonde hair. I knew it was her. She was my one and only true love. Her body had changed, fattened, become more beautiful, but it was still her and I’d have loved her just as much if she had been revived with her normal body.

That moment I found her was the single happiest moment of my life. I had brought Mia back from the dead and she had become the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

Another reason why it was my life’s happiest moment is because in less than 2 minutes my life was about to become ten times harder.

“You’re back! You’re back!” I leapt up and tried to hug her. But Mia punched me in mid-jump and I crumbled to the ground.

“AHH! Get away from me!”

Geez! That knocked the wind out of me! Once I could breathe, I managed to stand up. “Wait a second!  It’s me, Mia! It’s me!”

She froze, confused. “…..Wait….how do you know my name?”

“Come on, Mia. It’s me. Fann…..Oh no….” I figured it out. She had amnesia. She didn’t remember a single thing about me.

“Fann…? You….you must know who I am….what I am.” She lowered her guard. “I’m pretty sure I have amnesia. All I can remember is my name.” Mia lifted up her belly. “And what normal person is this big and fat. I kinda like it a little, though. What’s going on with me?”

“You died a short while ago. I managed to bring you back to life. The ritual knocked me out, so I kinda lost track of you for a bit. You see….I’m your husb-“

BOOM! A massive section of one of the mountains was smashed away!  A towering, hairy, armored giant with a big club slowly lumbered through! Massive piles of earth and clouds of dust burst up with every footstep.

Mia and I spun around and we both yelled “What the f-?!“

Panthor stuck his head out of my backpack. “That’s the First Colossus! What in the world is it doing here?!”

“You mean from the game?! That’s not possible!” I yelled.

“Yes it is. All of those magical items aren’t originally from our world. But now that they are in here, so are the monsters and characters from some of those games.”

“But that’s crazy!” Mia said. “How can characters, or even items, from video games appear in real life?”

“You’re asking a talking cat. How should I know?” Panthor replied.

“We’ve gotta get out of here.” I turned to Mia. “Or at least you do. At that weight, you’re too slow to outrun it if it’s chasing you.  Go on ahead while I distract him. At the bottom of that cliff is my horse, Shadowmere. Now I know he can’t support you, but at least lead him towards the temple south of here. I’ll be there soon.”

“No! That thing’ll crush you! Are you planning to just run around it leading him away from me? You’ll never make it!”

“Better me than you! I doubt you can run very fast now. Besides, you’ve just been given a second chance at life; don’t throw it away! Now go!” I turned to go at the Colossus.

Mia grabbed my shoulder. “Hold on. Fann, was it? I…I think I can take this freak on. Please, let me have a shot.”

“What?! Fight it?! You got huge, but you can’t fight a mountain! Forget it! Now get out of here while you can!”

“No, Fann. I don’t know how to describe it, but I feel like I can beat him. I don’t know how or where, but somewhere in me is the power to destroy that Colossus.”

“But…But you’re….”

“I…I’m still not sure what’s going on. You don’t even ring a bell. But…I think I trust you when you say that you’re my husband. So please, trust me when I say I can fight this guy.”

I stood there for a moment. No, I didn’t believe she could do it. I didn’t even see how Mia could escape this alive. But…..I went against my better judgment. She said she could defeat him. I decided to give her a shot.

“Okay. I trust you. But please, be careful.”

“All right.” Mia raised her arms and assumed a fighting stance. “Let’s go then!”

And at that moment, I could’ve sworn she’d changed. Not on the outside, but her body radiated confidence. She seemed more agile and mobile. Like all that fat was actually muscles. It still looked like fat, though. She was acting like a Saiyan that was becoming serious, but not Super Saiyan. Battle mode or something. It’s rather hard to describe. For a second, I thought I was going crazy.

Then Mia dashed forward with amazing speed! She practically flew inches off the ground and charged! Her first collided with the Colossus, which staggered in pain! Panthor’s and my mouths dropped. She was actually doing it! Mia was going to kick its ass!

She dropped to the ground and backflipped away. The colossus slowly raised his club. “He’s about to attack!” I yelled. “Get out of the way! It has a very wide range!” Mia leapt away just in time and then started running around back. She jumped up and actually DID kick its ass! The colossus was hurt, but not that much. She flew up above and began to shoot yellow energy beams out of her hands. One by one, they blasted on the Colossus’ back and head. But while Mia was attacking, she didn’t notice the club. Having only time to brace for impact, she was smacked down out of the sky and plowed through the earth upon landing.

“Mia!” I yelled.

“Don’t worry. It hurts, but I think I’m okay.” She rose rather quickly for a half-ton woman. The Colossus, which was now turned to face her, raised its club once again. “Don’t you know anything else?”

Mia leapt up as the club smashed into the earth behind her. She gave him a nasty uppercut into its big, hairy chest. The fighting SSBBW hovered there and started pounding away. With the back of its left hand, the beast smacked her up into the sky. Her head bleeding, she pulled her arm back while she was high up.

“It’s time to end this!” Mia’s pudgy fist began to shine with fire. Like a bloated missile, she shot down in a golden ray. “FALCON PUUUUNNNNCH!!!!” She collided with the Colossus’ head and the whole earth began to shake! The two of them began to shine brightly at the point of impact.

“Captain Falcon!!!” I yelled.

There was an explosion, and Mia fell down, covered in burn marks and scratches. She briefly gave a thumbs-up and smiled, then crashed into the side of the mountain. I ran over to her. “Mia!!”

She managed to break through and make it outside of the wall of rock, limping towards open space. “Oww…I think I broke my leg…” She grabbed my hand. “You’ve got to finish him, Fann. It won’t take much. He’s just got a small chunk of health left. You can do it. I believe in you.”

“But how?!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll find a way. Just remember: attack its weakpoint for massive damage. If you do that, he’ll go down in one blow. I’ll give you a boost. Good luck, Fann.  You can do it.”

And without another word, Mia grabbed me by my shirt’s collar, picked me up, spun me around, and threw me up into the air above the Colossus! “OH MY GOOOODDD!!!!” Panthor yelled. The moment she threw us, Mia’s weight suddenly shot up! Though every part of her body fattened, her belly and breasts doubled in size! Submitting to gravity and injuries to her leg, Mia fell on her butt and sighed in relief.

Then I noticed my hand was glowing. A short, black sword began to materialize. The sun reflected off of it and pointed directly on top of the Colossus’s head. A strange, glowing blue symbol appeared right in the middle. The weakpoint! I realized.

I landed, plunging the mysterious blade directly into the symbol! The great monster roared in pain and black blood squirted out of the wound. His knees buckled and he began to fall forward. With one thunderous boom, the First Colossus landed face first into the ground. The impact bucked me off of its head, leaving the sword still stuck in it. My backpack flew off and Panthor meowed in anger as it hit the dirt. I landed on my back and got the wind knocked out of me.

I could see out of the corner of my eye that the Colossus’ corpse was turning into streams of black lightning, then being sucked into the sword. Once it was all inside, the sword began to shine and emitted a blinding flash of light. Once it faded, a blue notebook plopped the ground.

I stood up and walked over to pick it up. The moment I touched it, a warm feeling swept throughout my hand. I looked at the title. A Manual and Guidebook to the Magical Gain of Mega Mia.

Without bothering to read it, I ran over to an even bigger Mia. “You did it, Fann! You beat him!”

I leapt onto Mia’s massive belly and hugged her, my head on her shoulder. “Oh Mia! Are you okay?”

She blushed a little, and lifted her arm as if to push me off, but decided against it. “I’m hurt and a little confused, but I’m fine.”

“Thank goodness.” Tears were streaming down my cheeks.

“Are….Are you crying?” She asked quietly.

“I know you don’t remember me, but I remember you. I’ll never forget you. I love you. I love you so much…And words cannot express the joy in my heart that you’re back. I don’t know what’s happened to you, why your memory and body are the way they are, what’s going on with this world, or what will become of us. But we’re together again. And I swear that I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, and your second life easier. I promise….”

A single tear fell from her eye. “I don’t remember you or anything, but I can already tell you’re sincere and speaking from the bottom of your heart. I believe you. I trust you.”

And that was where it all started. The two of us, Mia and I, didn’t have a clue in the world what lay ahead of us. The unthinkable was about to happen, and everything we had ever known was going to be flipped upside down. But were together once more. And we would stay together, help each other, and see this through to the end.

Chapter 3:
Resisting Temptation

The following is a partial fanfiction of Grand Theft Auto IV and Vice City. Just brief parts of it. It does not contain spoilers, but hints at events that marked the end of the game.

It is built so that you do NOT need to have read previous chapters if you are looking for fanfiction about this anime/video game. However, previous chapters (most particularly chapters 1, 2, and Mia’s magical gain rulebook) may help you better understand what’s going on.

This series overall is a WG series with occasional elements of BE. If you do not like WG or fat girls, then please don’t whine about it.

The overall plot is that Mia and Fann got married, but shortly afterwards she died of seemingly natural causes. Fann and his black cat Panthor gathered many magical items across different anime and games to bring her back to life. The good news is that she’s back, is 8 feet tall, has a standard weight of 1000 lbs., and has a wide arsenal of magic, items, and abilities given through those items. The bad news is that she has no memory of her previous life (including Fann), the very fabric of reality is breaking apart due to the integration of fictional worlds into our universe, and every character (good and evil) Fann stole those magical items from is out to kill them! Only Mia can stop this onslaught of evil and return our universe to the way it was. Though every 24 hours she returns to 1000 lbs, the end of every fight makes her gain weight proportional to the fight’s length and difficulty. And every female that touches her is infected by a virus and begins to rapidly gain weight….

On another note, the Mia’s Magical Gain Rules was revealed to them between chapters 2 and 3. Reading or skimming it may add some more sense to what Mia is capable of.
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I was driving down the road in a pickup truck. It was a desert road, and a long way from home. But we’d get there. I thought of it as a fun little road trip. Just me, Mia, Shadowmere, and Panthor. The latter was in the passenger seat. That’s because this truck didn’t have a back row and Mia and Shadowmere were too big to fit into any seat. Instead, they were on the flatbed section, and had the window open to the driver’s seat. Mia said she didn’t mind the wind rushing past. She was actually reading over that weird blue notebook that we got after defeating the First Colossus, A Manual and Guidebook to the Magical Gain of Mega Mia. Had her body really become that weird and complex? She seemed so fascinated with it and was reading off stuff to me.

Apparently, there was this thing called Mega Mode that allowed her to fight, but then gain weight afterwards. That must’ve been what I noticed when she decided to fight him. Her body didn’t look different, but I could tell that she could fight after that. And that also explained the rapid spike in her growth after she threw me. It had been almost 24 hours since the fight with the Colossus and she had lost nearly all of the weight she had gained during that spike. It’s just as the notebook said  in Section 1, parts A and B. “Mia’s body returns to standard mode 24 hours after she gains the weight. Mia’s standard mode weighs 1000 pounds and is 8 feet tall.” She was losing the weight, but could not be lighter than half a ton.

Her attacks now made sense too. The energy blasts she had used looked like they came straight from Dragonball Z. And somehow she executed an almost perfect Falcon Punch, just as it was in the anime finale. Apparently she had inherited some of the techniques of the fictional worlds where the magical revival items originated.

Of course, there was still so much we didn’t know. For starters, the notebook wasn’t completely filled. Does that mean that if we write stuff inside it will become true? And how did I get the sword Wanda used in Shadow of the Colossus. And why were we even fighting a Colossus to begin with? They don’t exist! None of this stuff does! Not even the items I used to revive her. This is supposed to be reality. Things from video games and anime don’t exist here! Only toys, replicas, actors, cosplayers, and the games and shows themselves.

It was a long drive. And I was thinking of all of these things, especially Mia, all the way through. The three of us talked and managed to catch up a bit.

Hours later, we arrived in Liberty City late at night. It was where Mia and I lived before she died. Our apartment was still there, but all of Mia’s possessions went to her family or storage when she died. Up until now, it had just been Panthor and I in my apartment with my stuff.

I unlocked the door and opened it. “Well, we’re home. Oh, right. You don’t remem….well, it’s not much but this is our place. Er, mind the door.”

Mia’s newly massive rear couldn’t fit through the door anymore, so she tried to enter sideways. She was huge, but so soft that she didn’t damage anything at all.  She looked around. It was a medium-sized apartment. A decent-sized living room and kitchen, one bedroom was used for guests and storage, and then there was the master bedroom and bathroom. The blinds were open, and the city had lit up over the horizon for the night. Panthor jumped up onto the window ledge and started sleeping.

“You kept it pretty tidy. I’m surprised. “

“Just don’t look at my desk. It’s the same concept as a kid shoving messes under his bed.”

“Speaking of which, where is the bedroom?”

“Just over there.” I pointed to the closed door, blushing slightly. Mia looked at me for a moment, then went in, sideways again. “I’ll just sleep over here.” I grabbed a throw pillow and lay down on the couch.

“You just brought your wife back from the dead and you’re not going to try and sleep with her?” Panthor asked after she had left.

“She doesn’t remember anything.  I’m going to give her the space she wants. To Mia, it’s practically like we just met.”

“Fann?” Mia called from the bedroom.

I got up and walked into the room. She was still in her underwear she wore since the revival, but she looked very beautiful in bed nonetheless. Every fold and roll rising and falling with her breathing. Her belly full and her legs thick. Her breasts barely contained within her top, and the same could be said for her butt and the panties.

“Yes, Mia? You comfy? Bed big enough?”

“Yeah, it’s very nice. I just wanted to thank you for bringing me back to life. I’m in your debt. Well… good night.”

I nodded. “No problem. Good night.”

But as I headed to the door, Mia felt a pang of sympathy for me, realizing what she just did. “Wait. Are you going to sleep on the couch?”

“Yeah. It’s fine.”

“No, I mean…well, you are married to me, after all. I do believe you. Really. I assumed you were going to try and….you know. Not that I wanted you to, but I just thought you might….”

I turned around and sighed. “Part of me does want to, but the part of me that respects you outweighs it. You don’t remember me at all. It would just be awkward for you and I can’t in all good conscience do anything to you while your mind is like this, even if you wanted it.”

“…I see. You’re a good man, Fann. I’m starting to see why I married you. I don’t remember, but at least I understand.” She snapped her fingers. “Tell you what. If you want, you can sleep in the same bed with me. No sex, but you can do anything else you want. You deserve that much after saying that.”

I cleared my throat. “Um….how about we just, uh…..snuggle?” If this came from any other man to any woman of her size, that woman would think the hesitation would be because she was so huge and fat. But Fann likes me like this. He’s resisting temptation. She thought.


Mia smiled softly. “Yeah. That’d be great. I like that. I’m more comfortable with snuggling anyway.”

I climbed into bed and under the covers. It was a king-sized bed and Mia did take up a lot of room on it, but we still both fit on it. She held my head in between her breasts while the two of us were on our sides. We wrapped our arms around and looked into each other’s eyes.

“I’ll always love and respect you, even if you don’t remember two things about me. You’re alive. You’re here. That’s all that matters to me right now.”

“Thank you.” Mia whispered. “It’ll be a little hard, but I may not need memories to fall in love with you again. You never gave up on me, and I’m not going to give up on you.”

The next morning, Mia woke up and rubbed her eyes. She looked down to see her tremendous tummy resting on her thunderous thighs. She had not gotten bigger overnight, but it must’ve reminded her that this is would she would be like from now on, maybe forever.  She looked around, noticing that I wasn’t there. She got up, overcame the thin doorway once again, and turned around to find me in the kitchen.

“Good morning, Mia.” I was making pancakes, and enough to feed a small army. “Sorry if this isn’t the best stuff you’ve ever eaten. I’m not much of a cook, even for something like this. Hope it does the trick, though.”

“Did I….was I a good cook?” She asked.

“Nope. Neither of us really were. You had a job at Applebee’s and a huge discount. We ate there half the time.”

“I see…Is it all right if I try one?”

“Of course. Go right ahead.” I stabbed one pancake with a fork and put it on a plate on the table.

Mia walked over and lifted it with the fork. “Smells nice.” She crammed the whole thing into her mouth and started chewing. “Mmph! This is pretty good.” Then she got rid of the whole pancake in one swallow. “I like it.”

I smiled. “Good. There’s more where that came from.” Mia’s breakfast consisted of fifteen pancakes and two gallons of milk. When it was done, she started rubbing her belly, which had gotten a little bigger.

“Mmm…I’m surprised. That actually hit the spot. I guess my tummy is bigger, but not my actual internal stomach. Or at least, it hasn’t grown much.”

There was a knock on the door. “Fann? You in there?” A man with a thick Russian accent was here.

I came over and opened it. “Niko! Good to see you. It worked! The revival actually worked. I’d like you to meet my wife. This is Mia. Mia, this is Niko Bellic, my new next door neighbor. He just moved in after you died. ”

“Uh…” Niko obviously wasn’t as big a fan of half-ton chicks as I was, but I gotta give him credit for trying very hard to act polite. “Nice to meet you.”

Mia smiled a little. “Yeah. Nice to meet you too.”

“See Niko? It worked! Mia’s back from the dead!”

“Well, about that….that’s what I came here for. You owe Tommy Vercetti money for gathering some of those items you used for the revival. Especially the Dragonballs. He told me they were a pain I the ass. He wants them back and he wants the money for the trouble.”

“Look, we just got back last night. I don’t have the money yet.”

“And the magical items?”

“They….they were destroyed during the ritual process. There was nothing I could do.”

Niko sighed, then suddenly got angry. He quickly pulled out a handgun and pointed it at my face. “Don’t screw with me! I need to collect the money or Vercetti will kill you, or even take Mia! Don’t make me go back there and tell him you don’t have it! Because he says your time is up!” He calmed down a little and lowered the gun. “I don’t want to do this to you, friend, but my hands are tied. If you don’t have the money, then give me something to take back to him and a message.”

“All right! All right! How about I just give you everything I have? Will that buy me some time?” I grabbed my wallet off the counter, took all the bills out of it, and handed them to Niko.

He counted them slowly. American dollars were probably still new to him. “Yes, it buys you time. But not much. I’ll see what I can do. But be on your toes. Tommy Vercetti always gets what he wants. And if he wants you dead, there’s not much I can do to convince him otherwise. I’ll try, Fann. But don’t get your hopes up. I’ll contact you the moment I get a response from him.”

“Thanks, Niko. Just give me some time and I swear once we’re back on our feet I’ll pay my debt to him.”

Niko left and shut the door on his way out. I breathed a sigh of relief. Mia stood up. “What’s going on, Fann? Are we going to be okay?”

“Vercetti is no doubt pissed at me. We’re in trouble, Mia. Big, big trouble.

Chapter 4:
Tonight’s Entertainment

The following is a partial fanfiction of Batman: Dark Knight, Grand Theft Auto IV and Vice City. It does not contain spoilers. It does, however, have a funny re-enactment of a Dark Knight scene. It’s such a good re-enactment that it does use actual dialogue. So forgive me. Neither GTA nor Batman is owned by me and this is purely a fan-based work.

This series overall is a WG series with occasional elements of BE. If you do not like WG or fat girls, then please don’t whine about it.

It is built so that you do NOT need to have read previous chapters if you are looking for fanfiction about this anime/video game. However, previous chapters (most particularly chapters 1, 2, and Mia’s magical gain rulebook) may help you better understand what’s going on.

The overall plot is that Mia and Fann got married, but shortly afterwards she died of seemingly natural causes. Fann and his black cat Panthor gathered many magical items across different anime and games to bring her back to life. The good news is that she’s back, is 8 feet tall, has a standard weight of 1000 lbs., and has a wide arsenal of magic, items, and abilities given through those items. The bad news is that she has no memory of her previous life (including Fann), the very fabric of reality is breaking apart due to the integration of fictional worlds into our universe, and every character (good and evil) Fann stole those magical items from is out to kill them! Only Mia can stop this onslaught of evil and return our universe to the way it was. Though every 24 hours she returns to 1000 lbs, the end of every fight makes her gain weight proportional to the fight’s length and difficulty. And every female that touches her is infected by a virus and begins to rapidly gain weight….
--------------------------------------------------


“All right. That’s the last of them.” I closed the steel door to the small warehouse and locked it, making sure the combination was written down.

“Fann, are you sure this is necessary?” Mia asked.

I wiped the sweat from my brow. It was almost nighttime, but it didn’t seem to be cooling down any. “Tommy Vercetti…I owe him money and he’s definitely coming after us when he realizes he’s not getting it any time soon. We can’t leave him any collateral. We can only afford to keep the absolute bare essentials in the house. The bed, the TV, the fridge, a few clothes, and food. That’s pretty much it. Stuff will hit the fan soon, so putting everything into storage would be safest. “

“You’re right. There’s a good chance he’ll hire guys to search our apartment. What they don’t take, they’ll smash to pieces.” She climbed into the tailgate section of the pickup. “So what will we do then?”

I jumped in the driver’s seat and turned the ignition. “I’m taking you home. Tonight I confront Vercetti, hitting him by surprise. If negotiations fail, he might try to kill me right then and there. But that’s not likely. He’s hosting a party at his penthouse, here in Liberty City tonight. It’s open to the public, but security’s tight. If they don’t find weapons on a guest, they’re allowed in. At the same time, this is too out in the open for him to kill me without causing a commotion and a lot of problems. He’s a wealthy man, and can rub me out any day. At the same time, though, if we meet and can’t reach an agreement, there’s a good chance he’ll try tomorrow.”

“What about me? Aren’t I coming?” Mia asked.

“No. It’s too risky, and the less he knows about you, the better.”

“Hold on. Remember that Colossus? A simple mob boss can’t stop me.  I’d be ten times safer there than you would be.”

“I’ll be fine. Besides, you could be an ace in the hole. Vercetti doesn’t know the ritual was a success.” Then I looked at her eight foot, half-ton body. Her belly looked even more beautiful in the light of the sunset. “Somewhat. Your powers could turn this whole thing upside-down if anything goes wrong. There’s no way they’ll ever have the foresight to prepare enough firepower to handle you. Plus, I could tell him that I haven’t even attempted the ritual yet and need more time. After all, the original agreement would be for me to repay him once I tried to revive you.  I can do this on my own. It’s better to keep you a secret as long as I can.”

“Please, Fann. I could provide backup. Just let me stay in the area in case something goes wrong. If a fight starts, you’ll be helpless without a weapon. Please, let’s do this together.”

I sighed. “…You’re right. You should stay on the building opposite the penthouse, probably on the roof. I think I can sneak in a mic and earpiece. That way, you can hear me and what’s going on.”

“Okay, then. Let’s do it.”

Hours later, I was at the party. Security didn’t find any wires or weapons, so once I was inside, I popped the earpiece in and started to nod my head and tap my foot, like I was listening to an iPod. I clipped the small mic onto the inside of my jacket’s collar. “Can ya hear me now?!” I sang, pretending it was the song I was listening to.

“Yeah. Loud and clear.” Mia’s voice buzzed in my ear. “I can even see you. My vision’s improved. Oh, and I was reading up on my notebook. It says I’m part vampire. I don’t hunger for blood, but drinking it does temporarily increase my power. And instead of taking sun damage, I’m simply more powerful at night. I don’t have fangs and I can’t sprout wings or anything, but it does help. Cool, huh? Anyway, has the guest of honor arrived?”

“Elvis has left the building!”

“Are you saying Tommy Vercetti’s not there yet?”

“YEAAHH!”

“Be careful, Fann. I got a bad feeling about this.”

Someone had to say that eventually.” I laughed quietly.

“Seriously. I think something or someone is approaching. I can feel it.” Mia insisted.

“Is it him?” I whispered, then pretended to cough.

“No...it’s dangerous, but this can’t be Tommy. I’m sensing something…..stranger. Whoever this person is, they’ve got a….bizarre aura about them.”

“Maybe it’s this penthouse. The glass windows offer a 360 degree view of the whole city. It’s much fancier and more high class than I expected. I swear I’ve seen this place before, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. And it’s not a déjà-“

CRACK! A gunshot echoed throughout the wide party floor. People screamed a little, then quickly fell silent. I spun around, looking for the origin. “I think that was a shotgun! Have they found me…?”

Then I saw the sawed-off shotgun pointing up above the crowd. As the people moved away from it, the owner was revealed. I recognized him immediately. It was Heath Ledger wearing his Joker makeup and the costume. He was surrounded by armed men with clown masks on.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen…”  He started to walk around. “We are tonight’s….entertainment.”

While everyone else was muttering the word “Joker”, I whispered into the mic “Mia. It’s Heath Ledger. He’s dressed up as the Joker, exactly as he appeared in the movie.”

“What?! But he’s dead! And why would he do this?!”

“I don’t get it either. I think he’s re-enacting the same scene from the movie.”
The Joker snatched a glass of wine, drank it, and slammed it down on a table. “I only have one question.” Then he downed another. “Where. Is. Tommy Vercetti?” He walked over to a guest, pointing the gun at his face. “Do you know where is?” The Joker proceeded to one after another. “You know where he is?” “Vercetti? Gotta be here somewhere.” “You seen ol’ Tommy-boy around?” “Gotta talk to him about something.”

“You know, Mia…” I whispered into my collar. “People kept saying that Heath Ledger did too good a job of being the Joker. I totally saw that in the movie, but it’s even more real in person.”

“This is not the time to be star struck!” Mia yelled into my ear.

An old man spoke up to him. “We’re not intimidated by the likes of you. What do you want?”

The clown tilted his head to the side, as if to examine whether or not this man was serious. Then he turned around to the party as a whole, and walked towards the middle. I was there, only able to see his back. “Vercetti has hired me to kill a man. What he didn’t tell me was that it was just a nobody that got on his bad side. Practically worthless. People, people, people….I’m not a loan shark! I say I’m above that. I’m a better class of criminal. What Vercetti is demanding me to do…it really shows how highly he thinks of me. It’s insulting, really. My services are only for important matters.”

He threw his hands up in the air, then to his sides. “What I find especially odd is that the second I stopped tailing the guy, he starts to follow me around.” The Joker laughed. “I couldn’t believe it. A guy who has some deadset goals, a guy who doesn’t take crap from Tommy Vercetti, is after me? I just have one thing to ask him right now.”

I saw it coming a split second before it happened. There was nowhere to run, and the Joker moved too fast. He spun around, grabbed hold of my head, put a knife in my mouth, and looked me right in the eye.

“Why so serious?”

I stood there, frozen in fear. Vercetti ordered the hit on me days ago, and this whole time the Joker had kept a close eye on me. If it weren’t for him disagreeing with Vercetti, I’d have been dead ages ago. And now it looked like he was about to go through with it. There was nothing I could say. Nothing I could ask. Nothing even Mia could do to help me now. We had let the Joker get too close. Way too close. Was I going to die here, like this?

“Stop it! Let him go!” A woman spoke up.

I rolled my eye and saw her. She was dressed in red. I could’ve sworn it was Rachel Dawes from The Dark Knight. No wait….it WAS her. And this was the part where the Joker threatens her and she responds by punching him while his guard’s down. But then that meant the Joker would have to…

Yes! Heath Ledger let go of my head and pulled the knife out! And he walked towards Maggie Gyllenhaal, the Dark Knight’s actor for Rachel. “Well, hello beautiful.”

He walked towards her, briefly brushing his hair with the knife. The Joker began to circle her like an animal.  “Well you nervous. Is it the scars? You wanna know how I got them?”

When she started to back away from him, he grabbed her head and prepared the knife. But before he could go through his anecdote about his wife, Rachel hit him in the stomach. The Joker fell back in pain. Then she tried to hit him over the head. Suddenly, he grabbed her arm before she could strike, then her other one.

Then something unexpected happened. Rachel began to change. Her dress started to get tighter around her body. Soon it began to rip. She was rapidly gaining weight, almost doubling her size instantly. Rachel started crying in fear, confusion, and pain. The Joker released her and backed off. The moment he did, her growth stopped. Rachel was practically about to burst from her dress. She had to have been at least 400 pounds now. Some durable fabric.

He lifted his hand and pointed at Rachel. I saw in his palm was a little buzzer, like the one that gives an electric shock whenever he shakes hands. Except this one made women gain weight.

The Joker smiled. “A little fat in ya….I like that.”

Suddenly, Mia was standing next to him. “Then you’re gonna love me.”

She slammed her huge belly into the Joker and knocked him away and to the ground.

Two of the clowns tried to grab her, but she simply knocked their heads together. While another was distracted by either the fight or the sudden increase in BBWs in the room, I knocked him out and grabbed his AK-47. Then I pointed at a few other clowns. Unfortunately, I quickly realized that I had no ability whatsoever to control the recoil. I missed and hit their legs out. The clowns fell to the ground, howling in pain.

I quickly noticed that Batman appeared in the fight as well, and was beating the clowns down as much as Mia. I looked at the two of them, both punching and kicking their lights out. Then I looked down at the gun I was holding. They didn’t need guns to defeat evil. Their pure strength was their weapon. They themselves were weapons. Batman and Mia were heroes. Then what was I? I dropped the gun and got out of the way. Out of the fight. These were simple criminals. And I could do nothing against them.

I realized that all heroes were weapons. A weapon is something that fights for something else that can’t. A person. An ideal. A goal. Another weapon, even. Batman was a hero and a weapon for Gotham. No, for justice. And now, after she was brought back from the dead, Mia was becoming a hero too. I found it hard to imagine my wife as a mighty weapon. She too would fight for something. But what? Liberty City? Freedom? The world? Love? Memories? Life? Or something less important? Like fat women or being debt-free?

Or was she fighting for me? Was I physically useless? A mere guide to aim this weapon that was my wife? Am I nothing but someone to direct her on the right path? Was that why she lost her memories? To free her from distractions like love and the commitments of marriage?

Whatever I was pondering was quickly interrupted when I realized that the Joker had taken advantage of the fighting around us. He had taken Rachel hostage again, and she was getting larger still. He had shot one of the glass windows to pieces.  Coincidentally, that was the moment when Mia and Batman had finished off the clowns. The Joker held a gun to Rachel’s head and held her by the shattered window.

“Drop the gun!” Mia yelled.

“Oh sure, half-ton. Just take your top off for me and you got a deal.”

“The Joker’s an FA…?” I breathed.

“Let her go.” Mia insisted.

“Rather poor choice of words, my friend. Perhaps you forgot the phrase ‘the bigger they are…’ Oh well.”

He shoved the bloated Rachel out the window! Batman rushed out and jumped after her! Mia and I rushed towards the shattered glass, and she punched the Joker out of the way. We looked down. The hood of a car had been completely flattened and the wheels popped off. A 600 pound, half-naked Rachel was lying on Batman’s arm (something he clearly wasn’t going to use for a while). Ambulances were already on their way.

We turned around to see that only the Joker and his clowns remained (well, only three had managed to stand up). Everyone else must’ve seized the chance and headed for the stairs.

“What’s wrong with you, Ledger?!” Mia demanded.

“Ledger?” He turned his head to the side. “Do I look like I pay my bills?”

“Heath Ledger? That’s who you are, right?” I asked.

“Never heard of him. Should I?” The Joker replied.

“I’m him. It’s gotta be him. Looks exactly like him.” I told Mia.

“Think of it this way.” She had a little theory. “If characters from Grand Theft Auto like Niko Bellic and Tommy Vercetti are popping up, is it completely impossible that we’re talking to the actual Joker and not Heath Ledger?”

“…Are you saying this guy literally jumped right out of the movie and is here right in front of our eyes in all his Heath Ledger-iness? And that the same thing happened with Batman a.k.a. Christian Bale and Rachel Dawes?”

“You’re in debt to a Grand Theft Auto character and your wife kicked the ass of a Colossus with a Falcon Punch. You shouldn’t find something like this impossible anymore.”

The Joker apparently didn’t catch any of this. “Don’t worry your pretty little head, blimpy. You know as well as I do that she had plenty of extra padding to break their fall. She and the Bat will be fine. Because tonight….I’m not after some psycho in a bat costume.”

“….You want us, then?! Huh?!” I yelled.

The Clown Prince of Crime clapped his hands. “Yooou got it!”

Mia lifted her tummy up and let it flop down, then raised her fists. “Good luck.”

“Oh, I don’t wanna kill you. I want to be….your friend.”

“What?” Mia rolled her eyes. “Screw you, clown!”

“Here me out here. This is how I see it…” He pointed the knife at me. “You. Uh…Fanny, right?”

“Fann.”

“Whatever. You and your pet whale have some unfinished business with Tommy Vercetti, right? And since he wants to waste my time and talents killing you, …well now I’m just plain insulted. A common enemy. What do you say about working with me?”

“Why should we? The Batman is probably after Vercetti too. How do you think he got here so fast? He’s a good man. Why should we join scum like you and not him?”

“Because the Batman has one rule he never breaks.  He wants Vercetti to stand trial, go to jail, whatever. And Tommy-boy’s just gonna get back out. He’ll make bail or a reduced sentence. He’ll come right back. And if you help Batman put him away, well… add that to the debt you owe him and Vercetti will chase you to the ends of the earth. He doesn’t forget, never lets go. ”

“And how would working with you be any different?” I asked.

“I’m different because I break Batman’s one rule on a daily basis. You and Miss Piggy work with me this one time, and you’ll never hear from me again….nor Vercetti. Call me whatever you like, but I am a man of my word.”

The Joker offered for a handshake. Then he remembered the WG button and pulled it off.

“Join Batman and Vercetti will haunt you forever. Make a truce with me, kill him, and you go free, no strings attached. Your debt and all mob-related trouble are gone and so am I. What do you say?”

I paused for a moment, thinking it over. Then I looked at Mia. I could tell from her face that she agreed with me. Then I turned to look at the Joker and his hand. I didn’t need any more time to think about it. The clown had our decision.

He put on a wide, red grin. “Then let’s put a smile on that face.” The Joker laughed long and hard.